


Twenty.(5)

by Tohskas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Humor, Body Image, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Hatred, Stuffing, feederism, light ending, stuffing kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8317828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tohskas/pseuds/Tohskas
Summary: You know, he will always be there for you. Even during the times that you get on his very last nerves, he will nevertheless listen to every word that comes out. Whenever it may be from suppressing horrible thoughts to complaining about not casting a single tear when something doesn’t go directly as planned, the person that had always been with you since the first day of exchanging eye contact will listen.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, a story more than +1,000 words. Did this piece while coming down with a depressed episode, along with getting a bit of inspiration from finishing up a manga called 'not simple'. I believe all of that brought me in a depressing mood to write out a piece to vent. Please be aware that this story does contain mentions of self injury. Also, please don’t take offense to the ending. Just want to end it on a lighter note. Wasn’t trying to romanticize anything if that's what you are thinking. Hope you all enjoy.

It was difficult to come to a conclusion. A conclusion that might change Iwaizumi’s mind and will flat out tell him about how unusual he was acting lately. Oikawa didn’t want to be found out as strange, all he ever wanted was words of comfort.    

A request so difficult to word out, he suddenly began to weep, hiding his expression with his knees and furiously ran his fingers through the ungroomed strands of his brown hair. Every word was dying to escape from Oikawa’s lips, yet his sorrow and frustration trapped it, lock and key. They banged on the door, desperate to voice out everything that was ailing him, not giving the slightest damn about having it to be understandable for the boyfriend. His words needed to be reached. To be acknowledged. To even be loved. Everything started to fall until Iwaizumi wrapped an arm across his slouched shoulder, bringing him closer to his heat. The feeling of being against his heat made Oikawa shiver out a reaction before weeping quietly again.  

“I cut myself again.”  

Being under his embrace grew to be tighter as Iwaizumi simply nodded his head, motioning for him to go on about his vent.   

“I was feeling fine. After that session we had yesterday, I considered I might indulge myself with eating some of the things you brought me this morning. And there I was, treating myself like royalty until something hit me.” The amount of tears that were beginning to well up in the corner of his eyes began to increase. “Then I heard her. She told me horrible things. ‘ _You should work out more_ ’, ‘ _God, just think about what people will say when I’m with you?_ ’, ‘ _Why am I still with a fat fuck like you_ ’, All of those words felt like nothing I ever felt. Maybe because of how good she hides her spitefulness for me.” Raising his head from the surface of his thighs, Oikawa then looked at the sky and towards Iwaizumi. His face was nothing more of a pitiful man reminiscing about the hell he survived through. Those eyes filled with brightness now turned out with a fine view of bloodshot and puffiness. Paleness flashed over his face with dried out tear stains, and his lips that were delectable as always, now turned out with dryness. He clearly looked like he walked straight into hell and fought for his life to come back. For an obscure reason, Iwaizumi desperately wanted to fall into a deep kiss with him, to ease away his anger and sadness, but he rethought about it, thinking that it’ll only satisfy his selfish needs instead of his.

The only that he can do was listen and comfort Oikawa in the best way a person can.  

“Either way, I tried to get her out of my mind. Eating away the pain only keeps the bitch resting in my thoughts. I didn’t know what to do so,” He seemed hesitant, yet he continued on. “And, so I reached for the sharpest kitchen knife and went forth as many cuts to try and get her out of my mind.” Oukawa slowly reached for the remnant of his sleeves and slowly rolled it up to get his boyfriend’s attention. The cuts were perfectly inline with one another, small amounts of droplets still seeping out along with newly formed scabs. The amount of twenty-five cuts that horrifically decorated the boy’s arm. Iwaizumi slowly began to grow speechless. Questions were forming in front of him, but, he held them at bay. Was it proper to ask something like this? To let him rethink about the reasons why he lived through it. All he knew that those past memories were more of a burden. A burden that he can’t get rid of, no matter how many times he places a cake in his mouth or a fresh cut wound on his body. Iwaizumi cautiously thought about his questions until something took a hold of his hand. Curious, he watched both of their hands gently wrapped around one another.   

“You probably don’t know what to say to me. All you can do is question my actions. I know it’s not the healthy direction, and even though I still had you, I still brought harm to myself.” Oikawa looked at him with both eyes, now showing boldness with the bloodshot appearance fading. “I harmed the both of us.” Correcting himself, he rested his head against his Iwaizumi’s shoulder and continue to let the last stream of tears run from his closed eyes. “I’m sorry.” He murmured.  

“There’s no need to apologize. You’re still the strong person that I recognize. Hell, you even finished on top with that presentation. How can someone throw all that energy to do a presentation at eight in the morning is beyond me.” Attempting to put light humor in the conversation, Iwaizumi squeezed the boy’s hand and the boy quietly chuckled.

 “Coffee can sometimes do wonders.” 

 “That’s true. Anyways,” Iwaizumi looked at the healing scars across Oikawa’s arm and ghostly traced them with his fingers, avoiding them without affording him an infection. “Please don’t injure yourself again. You have me, even if I’m not there. You're not a bother to me, you’re the only person that I have.” Iwaizumi looked in his eyes with sincerity before planting a kiss on one of his cheeks. “Please don’t do it again.” He repeated his words and shown a reassuring smile.   

Oikawa had someone that truly cared for him. Especially in this life that he was living. No matter how many burdens that he used to hold when being with that woman, or how many times he didn’t come to no one without being a ‘bother’, Iwaizumi wouldn’t think any less of him. The reminders of being ‘stronger than that’ made him tighten his grip alongside the boyfriend’s hand, assuring that his words finally relieved some pain inside him. Easing the pain felt from his open wounds and restoring himself with his presence.  

That's all he ever thought he would need.   

And that would all change once Iwaizumi said something out of the topic that they were discussing.“Twenty-five cuts is the amount of food items that we’re getting for your stuffing session.” 

 Oikawa raised his eyes in disbelief, now his face turning into a scornful look. Twenty-five? But, at least the boy was going to go easy on him. “Why would you even think about doing something in a time like this?” Iwaizumi flashes a crafty-like smirk and reworded what he said previously. “Twenty-five cuts is the amount of food items that we’re getting for your stuffing session... _next week_.” 

Oikawa groaned out, hardly believing what Iwaizumi was saying in front of him. “Fine. But, at least can I at least pick what I want?”  

“Of course. You get to call the shots.” He kissed him again on the cheeks before helping him come off the ground.   

Oikawa sometimes wonder about his taste in people like Iwaizumi.

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfiction & headcannon requests are open as of now. Fill my inbox on [tumblr](http://tohskas.tumblr.com/ask).


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